


Fireflies

by PendragonQueen09



Series: Character Development [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Annoying, Basically Virgil tells Roman to self care, Coffee, Enemies to Acquaintances, Fireflies, Late Night Conversations, Patton Mentioned, Platonic Prinxiety - Freeform, Roman is a perfectionist, Talking, Tea, remus mentioned, virgil didn't really sign up for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:01:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24333271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PendragonQueen09/pseuds/PendragonQueen09
Summary: Roman talks about how he feels with someone who won't lie to him
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Series: Character Development [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1756735
Comments: 1
Kudos: 33





	Fireflies

"Am I… annoying?"

"Honestly, princey? Yeah."

"Oh."

It was such a simple answer, but it shattered him.

Fireflies twinkled outside the window, a hard contrast to the way Roman suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe. 

His hands hurt. Why did his hands hurt?

With shaking fingers, he took a sip of tea.

"You okay?" Virgil's voice almost made him drop his cup.

"No."

"... sorry."

They weren't friends. They were so, so far from what could be considered friends. Maybe that was why Roman came downstairs instead of going to Patton's room when these late night thoughts rose up again. He didn't want to be safe in a lie anymore.

Now he kinda regretted it.

"Remus always tells me," Roman said, hushed. "He says I'm annoying too. And he doesn't lie, I know he doesn't, but I guess I needed a- second opinion." The more he spoke, the more the physical pain travelled. "And I knew you'd be down here."

Virgil rolled his feet up, placing his heels where he sat on the counter so only his toes hung off as they both stared out the window.

"It's not that bad," Virgil spoke up.

"What isn't?"

"Being annoying. Sure, it's- irritating, and it makes me mad, but that's something I need to work on. And Remus, too. It's not really your fault we're all prone to snapping."

"It still hurts."

"I know," the embodiment of Anxiety sipped his coffee carefully. "It hurts because you know when people find you annoying- when they think of you as anything less than perfect, they're more likely to get mad at you. Be mean to you. Curse at you. But you don't have to be perfect, Roman, you know? Nobody is."

"But if I am, they won't get mad- … you won't get mad."

"See, annoying," Virgil mumbled, and Roman was hit with a fresh wave of pain across his chest as the other looked at him for a moment, his expression screwed and something like dark curiosity hinged in his eyes. "We still will. That doesn't always mean it's your fault. Sometimes it's just been a shitty day."

"But can't I make it better? I want my presence alone to be enough to brighten a bad day," Roman asked, voice lost and soft.

"You can't be everything for everyone, and you're gonna have to accept that, Roman. You realize what you're asking for yourself, right? You're trying to be an angel. You can't, and trying is just gonna tear you apart."

"Isn't that worth it? As long as everyone else is okay. I can be the hero."

"Hold all of your feelings in your chest so that one day, you die? No, Roman. That's not helping anyone near as much as you think it is. That just makes you more like me, or Dee, or Remus. More likely to snap." The other finally hopped off of the counter, but Roman barely even followed his movements with his eyes as he rinsed his cup in the sink before making his way to Roman's front. He looked him over a moment, and Roman glanced up to meet his expression. "Take care of your emotions, princey. They're a big part of you," he finally decided to say, tapping Roman's chest with his knuckle before wandering out the door.

Roman stayed, drinking his tea and watching the fireflies until even they abandoned him for sleep before he returned to his own bed.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Blaming others' anger on yourself doesn't really help anybody. Roman's perfectionism makes him blame himself anytime anyone else gets upset with him. Sometimes when a person is upset with you, you should self reflect- but in this case, "being annoying" wasn't doing any damage to others, and their issues with anger in the past would have been their own problems. Because it is a label leveled at Roman, he blames himself for the issue, even though it is very much not his fault- annoyance is a person by person case, along with plenty of other labels.
> 
> Roman associates the word "annoying" with outbursts of anger, as the only time anyone calls him that is when they are upset with him. Virgil confirming that he was "a little annoying" was a way of him saying "everyone is annoying sometimes," but for Roman it came across that Virgil- and everyone else- was always at least a little bit upset with him. Roman's need to people-please makes this an earth-shattering thought and just makes him want to do better, but Virgil makes sure to remind him that he can't be perfect and make everyone happy, and he shouldn't try to do things that will hurt him just for others sakes. It's a bit of a toxic personal mindset. Learning to be reflective on when you're being too hard on yourself is just as if not more important than learning to be reflective when you say something harsh to another.


End file.
